The City Inside My Head

My roommates ask me why I stay up so late at night. Well, I'm not so sure about every night, but tonight... I just want to be up. I wish I were in a high loft apartment in a spazzy part of some ritzy city, where I could turn my lamps on low and sit beside my large window, a cup of hot cocoa in my hand, staring down into the lights and traffic below, stretched out like a million moving Christmas lights. I'd probably have something Frank Sinatra or maybe just Big Band playing in the background. I wouldn't be reading or planning or thinking about anything really important. It'd be just me and the lights. And maybe a jasmine plant on the side table. I've discovered that I love the smell of jasmine.

And that would be me, city girl version. Because I can do them both. Some days I see myself in jeans and a straw hat, rocking on my front porch with a storm rolling in over the distant fields and tree tops. The country is in my blood. I was born and raised out there where the mere taste of the air is more intoxicating than any man-made attempts. Where the colors are so rich and so vibrant in the summer and fall, that you feel full to the brim with satisfaction and wonder. Or when, in the winter, the cristal-ice covered landscape glows and shines in the setting sun like nothing else in the world. Where there is space, and freedom, and simplicity, and sheer beauty, unaffected. Where everthing is REAL. Where everything is between you and the elements. Where the energy of nature explodes around you in life and purity. Gorgeous, timeless, deep.

But then other days I can see myself in pinstriped slacks and smooth, dark leather boots. Writing books or just meeting people. Watching the world so alive, so moving, full of people. People with there wonderful stories. The sad ones, the infuriating ones, the amusing ones, the odd ones. And the best, the unique and fascinating ones. Where music and art and architecture thrive nothing else. Fashion. Culture. Those hidden discoveries in the history or hidden back gardens. The simple thrill of life. Man's creations and discoveries. Knowledge, curiosity, color.

But tonight I'm a simple city girl in my head. I want my wedding reception--some day--to be comfortable and rustic, but tonight I want the energy of humanity. I am aloof, but watching. I am drinking in the perfect complexion of it all. I am being here...

...in my head.